You imagined this differently.
The glow. The immediate bond. The quiet joy of new motherhood. Instead, there's a heavy dread sitting in your chest. A constant, humming anxiety that won't let you rest even when the baby finally sleeps.
Maybe you're thinking, "I feel like a bad mom." The thought circles, sharp and relentless, leaving you hollowed out with guilt and shame. You look at this tiny, perfect baby and feel... nothing. Or worse—you feel resentment.
You might even have the terrifying thought: "I don't want this baby." The shame feels so absolute you can barely breathe.
If this sounds familiar, listen closely: You are not a bad parent. You are not broken. What you're experiencing has a name, effective treatments, and you are absolutely not alone.
This Wasn't Supposed to Feel This Way
Your brain just won't shut off. It's 2 a.m., the baby is finally asleep, but your mind races with a thousand worst-case scenarios. You check on them again and again, consumed by fear that something awful is about to happen. These scary, intrusive thoughts can be so vivid and horrifying that you become afraid of yourself—terrified of being left alone with your own child.
Or maybe it's a profound sense of loss. You miss who you were before the baby. You miss your body, your freedom, your relationship with your partner. You feel like you're walking through thick fog, disconnected from everyone, just trying to survive the day.
You cry in the shower so no one can hear. You dread the sun going down because it means another long, lonely night is coming.
These feelings aren't a character flaw or sign of weakness. They're symptoms of very real, very treatable medical conditions that affect at least one in five new mothers and birthing people—and one in ten partners.
What's Actually Happening: Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders
Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) are the single most common complication of pregnancy and childbirth. They're caused by a perfect storm of hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and immense life stress.
This is not your fault. It's a medical complication of giving birth.
Beyond the "Baby Blues"
You may have been told you just have the "baby blues." The baby blues are real—they involve mood swings, anxiety, and tearfulness, but they're temporary. They usually start a few days after birth and fade within two weeks.
What you're experiencing is different. When feelings are more intense, last longer than two weeks, and interfere with your ability to function or care for your baby, it signals a PMAD.
It's Not Just Depression
While postpartum depression gets the most attention, PMADs show up in many ways. You don't have to feel sad to be struggling.
Postpartum Anxiety feels like constant, unshakable worry—a sense of dread that something terrible will happen, accompanied by racing thoughts you can't control. It often manifests physically: racing heart, dizziness, nausea, or inability to sit still. For some, it escalates into terrifying panic attacks.
Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) involves intrusive, repetitive, frightening thoughts (obsessions), often centered on the baby's safety. Parents with postpartum OCD are horrified by these thoughts and perform certain rituals or behaviors (compulsions)—like constant checking, cleaning, or arranging—to try quieting the anxiety they cause.
This is a disorder of profound fear, not danger to your child.
Postpartum Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can develop after a difficult or traumatic birth. Symptoms include reliving the birth through flashbacks or nightmares, feeling emotionally numb, and avoiding anything that reminds you of the experience. You may feel constantly on high alert, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Postpartum Psychosis is rare but serious, requiring immediate medical attention. It can involve hallucinations, delusions, severe confusion, and paranoia. This is a medical emergency—seek help immediately if you or a loved one experiences these symptoms.
Finding Help in Los Angeles: Where to Start
Knowing what to do next can feel overwhelming when you're already struggling to get through each day. Here's your roadmap to postpartum support in Los Angeles, starting with the most urgent needs.
For Immediate Crisis
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, or feel you're in immediate danger, reach out now. You don't have to handle this alone.
The LA County Department of Mental Health 24/7 Help Line is the central entry point for mental health services in the county. When you call, a trained person will listen and help you figure out what you need—crisis counseling, clinic referrals, or in-person support.
Call: (800) 854-7771
You can also call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline anytime to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
Call or Text: 988
Through the DMH Help Line, you can access the Psychiatric Mobile Response Team (PMRT)—a crucial resource for parents afraid of involving law enforcement. The PMRT is a non-police response designed to be less traumatizing. Mental health clinicians and community health workers arrive in plain clothes and unmarked vehicles, focused on de-escalating crises with compassion and connecting you with appropriate care.
Specialized Perinatal Mental Health Care
When you're ready for ongoing professional support, working with a therapist who truly understands perinatal mental health makes all the difference.
General therapists receive training in many areas, but perinatal mental health has unique complexities—hormonal fluctuations, attachment concerns, relationship changes after baby, and the specific presentations of conditions like postpartum OCD that can look very different from their non-perinatal counterparts.
A therapist with Perinatal Mental Health Certification (PMH-C) has completed specialized training in evidence-based treatments for PMADs. They understand the nuances of pregnancy and postpartum anxiety, the difference between postpartum depression and adjustment difficulties, and how to address intrusive thoughts safely without increasing distress.
At Phoenix Health, our PMH-C certified therapists provide specialized care that goes beyond general counseling approaches. We understand that maternal mental health requires specific expertise—from recognizing subtle symptoms of PMADs to understanding how birth trauma can impact bonding and recovery.
Los Angeles-Based Resources and Programs
Maternal Mental Health Now is a Los Angeles nonprofit dedicated to removing barriers to care. Their online resource directory features local therapists, psychiatrists, and programs specializing in PMAD treatment. They also offer an emotional wellness app and educational materials.
The Well Baby Center in Mar Vista provides low-fee perinatal and postpartum depression counseling for individuals, couples, and families. Their mindful, developmentally-based approach helps navigate new parenthood stresses while making care more financially accessible.
For higher levels of care, major Los Angeles hospitals offer specialized programs:
The UCLA Perinatal Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) provides group therapy, individual psychotherapy, and medication management several days per week for parents with more severe symptoms.
Cedars-Sinai's Reproductive Psychology Program offers individual and group therapy with a multidisciplinary team including psychologists and reproductive psychiatrists, supporting parents before, during, and after pregnancy.
The Power of Connection: Support Groups in LA
One of the most powerful healing tools is connecting with other parents who truly understand your experience. The isolation of new parenthood can be crushing, but you don't have to navigate it alone.
Local In-Person Support
Village Prenatal and Postpartum Circles in Pasadena offers a warm, safe space for new mothers to connect. Their postpartum circles focus on the mother's experience—providing space for "a laugh or a cry" where you can share your birth story and talk honestly about the transition to motherhood with others who understand.
Psychology Today is an excellent resource for finding therapist-led support groups throughout Los Angeles. These groups provide dual benefits of peer connection and professional guidance.
Search results reveal options like the "Empowered Parenthood" group—an 8-week program covering PMADs, relationship changes, and self-care. Another is "Meeting in Motherhood," which uses storytelling, mindfulness, and movement to build community and help you reconnect with yourself.
National and Virtual Support
Sometimes leaving the house with a new baby feels impossible. Online support can be a lifeline.
Postpartum Support International (PSI) leads nationally with incredible virtual resources. Call or text their free, confidential HelpLine to talk with someone, get information, and find local referrals.
PSI HelpLine Call: 1-800-944-4773 Text "Help" to 800-944-4773
PSI hosts dozens of free online support groups led by trained facilitators. These groups are incredibly specific—dedicated meetings for postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, NICU parents, military families, queer and trans parents, pregnancy after loss, and many more. This allows you to find community that understands your unique journey.
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline provides 24/7, free, confidential support. Call or text anytime to connect with a trained counselor who can listen, offer support, and connect you with local resources.
Call or Text: 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262)
Understanding Different Treatment Approaches
Recovery from PMADs often involves multiple approaches working together. Understanding your options helps you make informed decisions about your care.
Therapy Approaches That Work
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is highly effective for perinatal anxiety and depression. It helps identify thought patterns that increase distress and develops practical strategies for managing symptoms. For postpartum OCD, specialized CBT techniques help reduce the power of intrusive thoughts without suppressing them (which often makes them stronger).
Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) focuses on relationship changes and role transitions—particularly relevant during the dramatic life shift of becoming a parent. IPT addresses grief for your pre-baby life, communication changes with partners, and building new support systems.
Trauma-focused therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be particularly helpful for birth trauma and postpartum PTSD. These approaches help process difficult birth experiences and reduce their emotional impact.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps develop psychological flexibility—learning to experience difficult thoughts and feelings without being controlled by them. This can be especially valuable for the identity shifts and value conflicts that often accompany parenthood.
Medication Considerations
Many effective medications for PMADs are safe during breastfeeding. A reproductive psychiatrist can help weigh benefits and risks based on your specific situation.
Some parents worry that taking medication means they're "not strong enough" or "taking the easy way out." This isn't true. PMADs involve real neurochemical changes, and medication can be an important tool in recovery—just like insulin for diabetes or blood pressure medication for hypertension.
The decision about medication is deeply personal. Some find it essential for functioning and recovery. Others prefer therapy-only approaches. There's no right or wrong choice—only what works for you and your family.
The Importance of Specialized Care
Generic therapy apps and general counselors may mean well, but perinatal mental health requires specific expertise. A PMH-C certified therapist understands:
- How hormonal fluctuations affect mood and anxiety throughout pregnancy and postpartum
- The difference between typical new parent adjustment and clinical PMADs
- How to address intrusive thoughts about infant safety without increasing distress
- Specialized interventions for postpartum panic attacks
- The complex interplay between sleep deprivation and mood
- How relationship dynamics shift after having a baby
- Evidence-based treatments specifically validated for perinatal populations
This specialized knowledge translates to more effective treatment, faster symptom relief, and better long-term outcomes.
When Your Partner is Struggling Too
Postpartum mental health challenges don't only affect birthing parents. Partners experience PMADs at significant rates—about one in ten—but their symptoms often go unrecognized.
Partners may experience depression, anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed by new responsibilities. They might feel helpless watching you struggle, guilty about their own difficulties, or resentful about life changes. These feelings are normal and treatable.
Couple's therapy with perinatal specialization can help both partners navigate this transition together. It's not about blame or fixing someone—it's about understanding how PMAD affects your entire family system and developing strategies that support everyone's mental health.
The Reality of Recovery
Recovery from PMADs isn't linear. You'll have good days and difficult ones. Progress might feel slow, especially when you're sleep-deprived and adjusting to enormous life changes.
Some days you'll feel like your old self again. Other days the fog will return. This doesn't mean you're not getting better—it means you're human, recovering from a real medical condition while caring for a baby.
Recovery looks different for everyone. For some, it's the gradual lifting of persistent sadness. For others, it's intrusive thoughts losing their power to cause panic. It might be sleeping better, feeling connected to your baby, or rediscovering joy in small moments.
Most importantly, recovery doesn't mean becoming a "perfect" parent. It means feeling like yourself again—capable of handling normal parenting challenges without overwhelming anxiety or despair.
Practical Steps for Right Now
When everything feels overwhelming, small steps matter:
Prioritize basic needs. Sleep when possible, eat regularly, stay hydrated. These aren't luxuries—they're medical necessities for mental health recovery.
Limit social media. Those perfect family photos rarely reflect reality. Comparing your inside experience to others' outside appearance will only increase distress.
Accept help. When someone offers to hold the baby while you shower, bring a meal, or do laundry—say yes. This isn't weakness; it's wisdom.
Trust your instincts about treatment. If a therapist doesn't feel like the right fit, it's okay to try someone else. If a support group increases rather than decreases isolation, find a different one. Recovery requires feeling safe and understood.
Remember: This is temporary. PMADs are highly treatable conditions. With appropriate care, the vast majority of parents recover completely.
Finding Your Path Forward
You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You don't need to be the parent you imagined before having a baby. You just need to take care of yourself so you can show up for your family.
Whether that means calling a crisis line tonight, scheduling an appointment with a perinatal mental health specialist, joining a support group, or simply reading this article and recognizing yourself in these experiences—you're taking an important step.
Maternal mental health affects your entire family. When you get the support you need, you're not just helping yourself—you're modeling resilience and self-care for your children. You're showing them that it's okay to ask for help when life gets difficult.
Los Angeles has extensive resources for perinatal mental health support. From crisis services to specialized therapy programs to peer support groups, help is available. The hardest part is often taking that first step to reach out.
You're Not Carrying This Alone
The thoughts that feel so shameful—the ones you're afraid to say out loud—other parents have had them too. The guilt, the anxiety, the grief for your old life, the fear that you've made a terrible mistake—these are symptoms, not truths about who you are as a parent.
Recovery is possible. Connection is available. Specialized help exists right here in Los Angeles.
You're not broken. You're not a bad parent. You're experiencing a medical condition that has effective treatments. And you don't have to carry this alone.
Whether you're reading this at 3 a.m. during a feeding, stealing a moment during nap time, or scrolling through resources while your baby cries—take one small step today. Call a helpline. Schedule an appointment. Join an online support group. Send a text to a friend.
You deserve support. Your family needs you healthy. And recovery is not just possible—it's expected when you get the right help.
You're going to be okay. Not perfect, but okay. And sometimes, okay is everything.